1. 
   i didn't have anything to do so i went down to the can with stradlater while he was shaving. i said that Ackley was a slob and had bad habits like not brushing his teeth? well so was stradlater, but in a different way. he was more of a secret slob. he always looked good. but for intense you should have seen the razor he was using. it was all rusty and full of hairs and crap. he always looked good though when he fixed himself up. but the reason he fixed himself up like he did because he was madly in love with himself. he thought he was the most handsomest guy in the western hemisphere. and he was pretty good looking-I'll admit. "who's ya date?" i asked him. "that Phyllis babe?"
   "no it was supposed to be, but the arrangements changed. she knows you?"
   "who does"
   "my date."
   "yeah" i was pretty interested "who is she?"
   "jean Gallagher"
   i nearly dropped dead"Jane Gallagher." damn right i knew her. she used to live practically next door to me. i was really excited about her. i really was. her mother and father was divorced and her mother was married again to some booze hound. Jane said he was a play writer but all i ever seen him do was booze and run around the house naked. even with Jane around. after stardlater left, i just sat there in my chair for about half an hour doing nothing, just thinking about Jane, and stradlater having a date with her and all. it made me so nervous i nearly went crazy. i already told you what a sexy bastard stradlater was.

I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. Say I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine and someone asks where I'm going I'll say I'm going to the opera. it's terrible. so when i told old Spencer i had to go to the gym to get my equitment it was a complete lie. i didn't even keep my equipment in the gym. at pencey i live in the ossenburger memorial wing of the new dorms. it was only for juniors and seniors, I'm and junior and my roommate stadlater is a senior. the dorm was named after this guy who used to go to pencey and made a load of cash. he came in to talk to us once. he told about fifty corny jokes just to show us he was regular guy and all. very big deal. very big phony. then he started telling us ho we should always pray to god -talk to him and all. he said we should think of Jesus as are friend and all. the best part of that speech was when Edgar Marsala, sat in the front row did this terrific fart! old onssenburger acted like he didn't hear it, but old thurmer did. you could tell. and the next day he lectured us saying whoever created the disturbance was fit to go to pencey.it was nice to get back to my room. i deiced to sit down and read this book i took out of the library by mistake. they gave me 'out of Africa' by Isak Dinesen. i thought it was going to stink but it was actually quite good. anyway i put on my new hat and started to read 'out of Africa'. then i heard someone coming through the shower curtains. without looking up i knew who it was. Robert ackley. Hadley anyone called him Robert. everyone called him ackley. he was one of these very tall, round-shouldered guys. the whole time he lived next door to me i never once seen him brush his teeth. it made you feel sick. he was also sort of a nasty guy. i wasn't to crazy about him.

the next chapter in my life:-

well, i am at old Spencer's house. it's really weird because even though they are married and all they each have their own rooms. an they both get a big bang out of little things.it's quite funny really. for example when me n some other guys went over there for hot chocolate he shown us this beat up old Navajo blanket he and Mrs.Spencer bought from some Indian in Yellowstone park. you could tell he got a big bang out of it, well when you are as old as Mr.Spencer you can see why he got a big bang out of buying a blanket. i knocked on his door and he told me to come in. i asked him how he was feeling. he then asked me how my chat with Dr.Thurmer went. so i told him what he said to me about life being a game and how you should play by the rules and all. then Spencer started. "life is a game boy and you should play by the rules" he went on. "yes, i know it is sir" i replied. game my ass, i thought. maybe it's a game if you get on right side of it where all the hot shots are but get on the other side if it and its far from a game! a games meant to be fun but get on the wrong side and its far from fun! then the lecture really started. he started asking me how many subjects i was failing in. i was failing them all except English. then he went on asking me if i even opened my textbook at all in his lesson. then he asked me to hand him my essay on the ancient Egyptians. it was a very dirty trick. and sure as hell he read it out loud to me. when he had finished i started to shoot the bull at him. you know tell him what he wanted to hear. finally i made my excuse, i said i had to go and pick up the fencing equipment from the gym. complete bull. we didn't even keep it in the gym. anyway i said it all the same and left. i think he shouted something after me. good luck i think. god i hope not. i hate it when someone yells good luck to you. it's terrible when you think about it.

the first chapter of my goddam life- well i would tell you about my parents and all but i dont really want to go into all that rubbish they would proberbly go mad if i told you anything to personal anyway there nice and all i'm not saying that there not. oh and if you really want to know i have a brother,D.B, but he is in hollywood making movies. He has got alot of money now. he didn't used to have, he used to write book of short stories called the secreat goldfish, my faveourite one was the secreat goldfish. Enough about that now, i want to tell you about the day i left pencey prep. you have proberbly heard of it, its this school in pennsylvanania. it is always advertised in these magazines. in a way i am glad i am leaving i hate it here! full of phoneys the lot of them! but in a way i dont want to say goodbye. i hate goodyes. but i thought i would go and say goodbye to old mr.spence, he's my history teacher. it was the day of the big game between pencey and saxon hall and everyone was there but i couldnt be botherd i just got back from new york. anyway, i ran, it was freezing and icy as hell. i eventually arrived at old spencers house and mrs.spencer answerd the door, i said hello to her and she took my coat. i asked her where mr.spencer was n she pointed me in the right direction.